


Can't Let Go

by vogue91



Series: Futarikkiri Furansu Juudan Kakueki Teisha no Tabi [4]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Fights, France (Country), M/M, Mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 18:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “What should we do now? It’s late, we’re in a city where we weren’t supposed to be, we’re out of our way of at least a hundred kilometres and we can't leave until tomorrow. “he scoffed, arching an eyebrow. “Really, Yuri, I must compliment you.”





	Can't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> The story refers to the fourth episode of the J's Journey of Yuya and Yuri in France.   
> These stories are very self-indulgent, very sappy and they blatantly disregards the presence of cameras.   
> You've been warned ♥

Outside Orléans station, Yuya nervously lit up a cigarette.

Yuri followed him a few steps back, quiet, waiting for the elder to start talking.

He saw him take three or four hits in a row, tensed, before snorting and turn toward him.

“Damn it.” he cursed, brushing a hand over his face, slowly massaging his eyes. “This is really a problem.” he said, accusatory. “What should we do now? It’s late, we’re in a city where we weren’t supposed to be, we’re out of our way of at least a hundred kilometres and we can't leave until tomorrow. “he scoffed, arching an eyebrow. “Really, Yuri, I must compliment you.” he added, taking  the last hit off the cigarette and letting the stub fall on the ground, crushing it nervously.

Yuri’s lips got thinner and he glared at him.

“Compliment for what? Is this only my fault now?” he asked, incredulous, starting to torture the palm of his hand with his fingernails in the attempt to keep his nervousness in check.

He knew he was going to get mad at him, he had been expecting that.

When they had gotten off the train and he had realized they had missed their stop, he had seen Yuya’s irritated face, aware that it was a face normally reserved to him.

And he also knew that him trying to keep his cool had been only for the sake of cameras, so he wasn’t surprised at his accusation.

But he was bothered, and a lot.

“Who else? Who was the one who had to stay awake and check the stops, Yuri? Why have we decided who could sleep and who couldn’t in the first place if then you’ve done as you pleased anyway?” he said, hitting his foot on the ground and taking the cigarettes out of his jeans’ pocket.

“You’ve just smoked one, Yuu.” the younger pointed out.

“Cut it!” was Takaki’s immediate reply, then he ignored what he had said and lit the cigarette up, smoking it as nervously as he had the first one.

Chinen got irritated by the way he had replied to him, but he still tried to ignore it.

“I'm sorry Yuya, really. But I was tired too, and with you sleeping next to me I didn’t even know what to do to stay awake. I'm sorry, I know I made a mistake, we should've taken turns not to risk it. But now it makes no sense to be mad at me, it doesn’t change the facts. Recriminating won’t take us to Tours, will it? Why don’t we just try to find a solution?” he suggested, hoping that the elder would've calmed down and saw thing clearer.

But Yuya’s face let him little room for manoeuvre, and he knew he had completely failed in the attempt.

“Yuuyan.” he tried again. “We’ve spent a nice day together, we’ve eaten, we’ve seen Nantes... I thought we had fun, right? Why should we ruin it?” he asked, his voice getting lower as he went on, Yuya’s face less and less interested.

“Oh, of course.” the elder said, sarcastic. “We’ve had so much fun that I really needed something to destroy the mood. Thanks, Yuri.” he scoffed, turning and heading away from the station.

Chinen opened his eyes wide, rushing to reach him and putting a hand down on his shoulder, save having the other push him away.

“Where are you going?” he asked, incredulous.

“To find some place to stay. And eat something maybe, I'm starving.” he muttered, and kept walking.

He stopped and turned only when he realized the younger was staying still, close to the station.

“What are you doing?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. Yuri shrugged, his eyes on the ground, biting hard on his tongue.

And if he felt some expectation when he saw Yuya come back, that died as soon as he saw him stretch his hand.

“Well, if you’re planning to stay here, give me the money.” he said, resolved, and all Yuri could do was take the wallet out of the backpack and hand it to him, miserable.

“You can’t leave me here alone. You just can't.” he whispered, his voice hoarse, still not looking the elder in the eyes.

“I think I can. You’re the one who doesn’t want to come, and I’d say you’re old enough to be on your own.” he pointed out, moving away. “And anyway, at least for a while I don’t want you around.” he added, and he left.

Chinen kept still.

He felt like crying.

When he had realized he had made a mistake, when he had imagined Yuya was going to get mad, he had imagined one of the usual outbursts, something to let him vent and which they would've both forgotten in a few minutes tops.

It wasn’t rare. Yuya had never been the seraphic type, he hardly ever thought before speaking, but once understood how to deal with him Yuri had gotten good at letting go down his road, without minding him much.

But he wasn’t expecting for him to leave him there alone, he wasn’t expecting to hear he didn’t want him around.

He sat on the stairs, far from the front door, and he crouched his knees up, staring at the blank spot in the direction the elder had taken.

What was he supposed to do now?

Alone and without money, there wasn’t much he could do.

He was hungry too, but he hadn't dared saying that to Yuya.

He was tired. And he was thirsty, he was dying of thirst.

And he wanted to cry a little, but he wasn’t concerned by that.

“ _You’re old enough to be on your own.”_

He was hurt. So much that any reaction had seemed impossible, so much that he still didn’t feel mad at him for having said that, overwhelmed by how much pain those words had caused him.

And what Yuya had said was true, but despite everything he couldn’t suffocate the feeling telling him he needed him.

 

~

 

Yuya was wandering aimlessly.

He had no idea where to go, what to do, and he wasn’t making much of an effort to think about it anyway.

He kept thinking about Yuri, feeling his stare on his back why he got away from him, and how stupid that was making him feel right now.

It had taken him a few hundreds of metres to cool off; then he had stood on the sidewalk, taking a deep breath and admitting that Yuri was right.

They had spent a nice day together.

Since they had begun travelling, two days before, they had had a great time. And he had felt happy, finally free to spend some time with him.

What the hell was he doing?

He imagined him there, cold and broke, and he felt horribly guilty.

He had been walking for a while fighting the instinct to go back to him, say he was sorry for having left him there and for what he had said, to tell him that there was no way that’s what he though.

He stopped again, looking around, staring at the road he had just walked and sighing.

Then, resolved, he went back, walking faster, suddenly anxious.

It had been less than half an hour, and he didn’t want it to take that long to go back, so at some point he started running, thinking about Yuri, about what he was going to say, aware that he was going to have hell to pay for forgiveness, and knowing he deserved just that.

Why in the world did he always ruin everything?

Chinen had always been too patient with him and his outbursts, never pointing out how unreasonable he was, never telling him he was over the top, but just waiting for it to pass on its own, listening to him ranting in silence.

But this time he had crossed the line, and he was well aware of that.

Once he reached the edge of the station square he sighed in relief seeing him still there, crouching on a step staring into space.

He ran again, and once he reached the stairs he climbed them quickly, stopping a little lower than Yuri, kneeling in front of him, putting his hands on his knees and looking straight into his eyes.

“Yuri?” he called him, low.

Chinen didn’t look at him. He kept his eyes in front of himself, almost as if he hadn't noticed his presence.

“I'm thirsty, Yuu.” he murmured after a few moments, and the only reaction Takaki has was to lean further toward him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight.

“I'm sorry, Yuri.” he whispered, his mouth to his ear. “I'm sorry I left you here alone, I'm sorry I got mad at you when it was both our fault. I...”

“No.” the younger interrupted him, pulling away from his hold and looking him in the eyes. “I'm the one who’s sorry, I don’t... I'm sorry I’ve been of hindrance. It wasn’t my intention to be on your way.” he explained, arching an eyebrow.

Yuya felt sick at those words, feeling the worst man on Earth.

“Don’t even say it, Yuri. You’re not in my way, I wasn’t thinking. I'm glad you’re with me, I'm glad you depend on me for the small things. It makes me feel indispensable for you, I like to know you need me. It’s my fault because I don’t think before speaking, and I often say stuff I don’t mean. And, trust me, I don’t think any of the things I told you.” he admitted, firm, seeing the younger think about it for a moment and then nod.

“Fine.” he murmured, leaning back toward him and letting Yuya hug him again. “Then you’re a dick.” he said, and the elder laughed.

“That’s true.” he agreed. “I am.”

They kept hugging for a short while longer, and when they finally got up Yuya held his hand, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“I'm thirsty, Yuuyan.” the younger said again. “And I'm hungry too. And I'm tired.” he listed, frowning, making Yuya smile.

“I know, love.” he said, brushing his cheek with his fingertips. “I’ll take care of it.” he reassured him, and together they crossed the square, looking around for some place to eat something.

“Yuya?” Chinen called him after a while. “Don’t you ever do that again, alright?”

The elder nodded, looking guilty and holding his hand even tighter.

“Ever again.” he confirmed. “There’s nothing that could ever make me want to leave you, Yu. I’ve been worried to death the whole time I haven’t been with you.” he admitted, grimacing.

“Not even if I'm going to make you angry? Or if I were to make another mistake?” he enquired.

“I love you, Yuri. Nothing’s going to change that. And it should be enough, shouldn’t it?”

He looked at him, finally seeing him smile and relishing in that.

“Yes.” he nodded. “For now it’s going to be enough.”

They kept walking together, lazily, thirst and hunger taking the back seat.

Until they found a place to stay, Yuya didn’t let go of his hand.


End file.
